Don't Kiss and Tell
by lovestyle
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru are forced, along with the rest of the Host Club, to work a kissing booth for an Ouran-sponsored New Years festival, much to their chagrin. Light H/K.


"Baka Tono..." A nasally grumble cut through the immediate silence that had followed upon closing the large wooden side doors to the school's southernmost corridor. Precious few people roamed the dimly lit halls now as the gathering crowd of prestigious families counted down to midnight for the Ouran Academy New Year Celebration Festival. Countless Japanese chefs stood on hand outside, each serving toshikoshi soba to their waiting filthy-rich customers.

"Really..." Came the softer reply. Identical bodies crouched lowly behind the wall adjacent to the windowpane, sporting twin expressions and mirrored hairstyles. The boy closer to the floor, the youngest of the infamous Hitachiin brothers, allowed his legs to give way, sliding unceremoniously onto the floor to lean against it, chin in hand. "I still can't believe we're here..."

"Or that this idea was even approved, for that matter!" Hikaru's muttering grew ever-more menacing. "Shouldn't everyone be across the country with their families? Did they really have nothing better to do than to spend their time at an Ouran-sponsored New Year's benefit...? How tacky..." He shook his head in disgust, pulling his head away from the window to follow suit with his brother. Bottom planted firmly on the floor, he rewarded his growing frustration with an escape in the form of an angry sigh. Kaoru looked to his brother, hazel eyes trying to catch each other in a game of cat and mouse.

"..." Perhaps Hikaru would not glance his way, but what Kaoru could not see he could certainly feel. The whole idea HAD been rather ridiculous, from start to finish- of that, there was no denying. What had started out as an innocent discussion between Kyouya and Tamaki of New Years customs around the world led to a frantic and insatiable excitement in the heart of their king- or, idiot lord, as the Hitachiin brothers so affectionately referred to him. A boyish spirit met with the manipulation of a single shadowy hand was how the host club had been ruled since its founding, and this moment was no different. Though the remaining (and infinitely more sane, Hikaru and Kaoru liked to think) members of the club had possessed their doubts in having a New Years benefit held for the school, Mommy and Daddy had prevailed once again.

But even that was not the most ridiculous notion. Never one to be outdone by the frivolous Host Club, Takeshi Kuze of the rival American Football club had dug his citrus-scented mitts into the pie, desperate to have a piece. It was HIS fault that Hikaru and Kaoru now sat inside the school, watching from a safe distance as the last family was escorted through the heavy oaken doors and out onto Ouran Academy's immense back patio. Thanks to his relentlessly competitive nature, every major club in the school had volunteered to enter a contest of New Years events. Each group had done their work to set up display booths for their activity: though attending the benefit itself was free to any Ouran student and his or her family, partaking in an activity would cost a nominal fee, all of which was to be donated collectively to Ouran's funding once the night was through. Whichever club garnered the most money by the night's closing at 1 AM would win an award and the prestige from having done best. Midnight was drawing near now, and the Host Club's booth was only just now preparing to open for business. Though Kuze's victorious smirk had started off rather widely in the hours leading up to the turn of the year, the crowd the Host Club booth continued to draw as the minutes ticked by was causing him to sweat, his best efforts to hide it not doing much good. The facts began to set themselves in stone: his group's idea, though commendable enough, was nothing compared to Tamaki Suou's grand notion of a kissing booth.

"Kissing booth?!" Kaoru could still hear his brother's voice in the back of his head, spluttering as he choked on afternoon tea. "Tono, you're nuts- that's too far!" He had said, his face growing red.

"Nonsense- think of it! Hundreds of lovely ladies, lining up for the chance to give to Ouran in exchange for but one chaste kiss! Oh, to give each and every girl what she wants in the New Year: A first kiss from her favorite host! We'll make so many dreams come true!" Tamaki had blathered on, oblivious to the various shades of red adorning the cheeks of every host club member... save for Kyouya, who only smirked and recorded more mysterious data into his trusty notebook. It was the Host Club's famed Loli-shota boy who noticed the situation first.

"Kyou-chan... is okay with this?" Hunny looked bewildered. It was then that Hikaru understood.

"Oh, of _course_ he's okay with it: He planned the whole thing!" he shouted at the older boy accusingly. Kyouya's innocent grin grew wider to conceal the evil radiating beneath it.

"I did no such thing. I only suggested to Tamaki that the notion of a first kiss at midnight was a rather romantic thing... I was reading an article, you see." Tamaki nodded proudly, standing and clutching at his chest dramatically.

"Ah, and it was I who decided that the most beautiful gift to give to our dear customers was a midnight dream of romance come to life!" Though Tamaki continued on after this to praise himself not-so-subtly, Kaoru's memory of his foolish fanaticism stopped there. What he could never forget, however, was the look Hikaru had given him. 'Either kill him, or kill me,' was what it had said, loud and clear.

Now, nearly a month later, little had changed about that look, save for its intensity as the dreaded time drew nearer- indeed now, his eyebrows were furrowed just a bit closer together, his lips drawn tighter than tight. Kaoru hated to disrupt his brother's anger, but what awaited them as punishment for not stationing themselves at the kissing booth as the clock struck midnight was even more worrisome.

"Hikaru," Kaoru began gently, reaching out to grasp his brother's wrist through the entanglement of their mother's specially designed New Years kimonos.

"No," Hikaru said firmly, pulling away from Kaoru as his eyes continued to focus on a point across the room. Kaoru studied him in confusion for a moment... before attempting it again.

"Come on, Hikaru, I don't want to know what Kyouya-senpai will do to us if we're late!" Both brothers knew that the very first guest in each line of girls (and boys, though few) was the one who had offered the 'highest bid'- for paying the most money, not only would she receive her first kiss of the New Year from her favorite host, but she'd steal his as well. The thought of Kyouya's demeanor now, so close to midnight with no Hitachiin brothers in sight, was a frightening one indeed.

"I don't give a damn what Kyouya-senpai has to say about this," Hikaru shot back, still not turning his eyes away from the spot upon which he concentrated. Kaoru nervously rifled through his kimono to locate his cell phone, checking the time quickly.

"But... Hikaru! We have thirty seconds!!" His voice jumped a half-octave in panic as he rustled a bit, clumsily coming to a quick stand.

"You think I don't know that?" Hikaru grabbed blindly for Kaoru's wrist and yanked him back down to his level once he had located it. "Hold on, would you?"

"Hikaru, I-" Kaoru suddenly stopped as his eyes flitted across the room. A large ornate clock decorated the corridor just above its exit, boasting now twenty-seven seconds til midnight. Indeed, if Kaoru strained his ears, he could hear the guests outside beginning to count down:

"Ni juu sichi, ni juu roku, ni ju go..." Kaoru paused, at a loss for why Hikaru continued to wait around.

"If... you know what time it is, what are you waiting on...?" Kaoru asked. Silence followed between them immediately thereafter. Kaoru's heart hammered in his chest as the crowd made their way down to ten... their fate was sealed, there was no way they'd make it back in time! Five... Kyouya was surely calling someone now to pick out identical plots and dig their graves.

"Shi..." What would life outside Japan be like?

"San..." Kaoru didn't particularly want to be exiled from the country...

"Ni..." Maybe they could try living someplace in Europe.

"Ichi..." Hopefully their mother wouldn't miss them much...

"Rei!" A sudden warmth gravitated towards his mouth, enveloping it. Before Kaoru could think, identical lips were upon his, kissing him with angry force. Though his first instinct was to pull away in shock, Kaoru couldn't quite bring himself to part ways with his brother's powerful kiss. Three full seconds passed, which he would later come to remember as being simultaneously the longest and shortest moments of his life.

"I... wuh..." Kaoru could hardly form words as he blushed, his mind swimming with a drunken... happiness? Was that what it was?

"If Kyouya-senpai is gonna make me kiss a bunch of people on New Years, I sure-as-hell am not about to give my first kiss to some lame host club guest. I'd rather only kiss people I care about, but at least now I can walk out there knowing my REAL first kiss of the year was with someone special to me." For once, Kaoru's mind was completely devoid of anything to say. All he could do was stare at his brother in dumb shock.

"Eh, whatever, let's hurry up and get out there to face our punishment," Hikaru said, his voice thick with loathing as he surpassed his brother, gathering speed as he neared the door. Kaoru nodded, his bodily functions suddenly springing back to life as he leaped up to follow suit, cold air entering his lungs for the first time in what seemed like hours.

"..." Suddenly, he thought as his brother's hand dragged him along... Suddenly, whatever punishment Kyouya had in mind for them... didn't seem so bad after all.

-----

Translation Notes:

toshikoshi soba: "Year-End Soba;" Soba noodles (symbolizing longevity) served on New Year's Eve in Japan.  
ni juu sichi, ni juu roku, ni ju go: 27, 26, 25  
shi: 4  
san: 3  
ni: 2  
ichi: 1  
rei: 0


End file.
